it was like a whirlwind, it carried me very far
since then, everyday, I know I've started the war
the first symptoms were easy, they looked ordinary
in my head, the treatment, would not be so scary.
I pored on information I could find on the internet
all the symptoms they mentioned, "I have all of them", I could bet
I read more and more, I self-diagnosed
In a few days from detection, in my mind, this body was comatose
I knew there was nothing wrong with gathering information
to arm yourself with knowledge, is not bad, but do with caution
The next days became a roller-coaster, acceptance vs unbelief
some days I felt, "I'll submit", but then other days, "I'll just quit"
I have been reading God's words all throughout the ordeal
I can honestly say, I read -- but the message, DID I HEAR?
I went with the flow, preparations were made
I asked for prayers, for God's help, as I decide to go under the blade.
the last three days prior, I was numb, I stopped analyzing
I still read God's words, hoping to see HIS leading
I have snippets of Scripture, that were etched in my head
On the way to the OR, as I lay on that rolling bed
By the wide door we stopped, my children hugged and kissed me
Our fervent prayer, we said aloud, for God's help, for my safety
I started crying, then straight ahead as the wide door opened
Proverbs 3, verses 5-6, i looked up again, they listened.
"Trust in the Lord with all of thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding
In all thy ways acknowledge HIM,and He shall direct thy paths"
I realized my folly, by God's grace He showed it to me
I depended on my own knowledge, predicted my own destiny.
A voice in my head spoke about the process of cleansing
Some things must come to pass, but trust HIM, there's a new beginning.
In all that we do, to the LORD God, put our trust
Every day of our lives, do this, it's a MUST.
Scripture:
Proverbs 3:5-6
New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Hmmm, this is my favorite so far. If I have been wondering how it all went down last week, I don't have to anymore. Not only was I able to see it in my head but also felt the emotion. It's as if I was there rolling alongside you. Goosebumps. I'm so glad you received your word from Him. (An aside: Proverbs 3:5-6 were the very first verses I ever memorized. It was in college. It was before a big midterm exam. I was walking to the PhySci building and I recited those verses over and over again. I can't remember the subject now but I passed!)
ReplyDeleteMy dear T. I purposely did not write an email about how it went because I knew I was going to write a poem about it and post here. Thank you to the both of you who have helped me muster strength and courage all throughout. I know there is still the biopsy result to be concerned about but God will take care of the rest. Everyday is always an opportunity to learn more about HIM and I am glad I have friends who walk alongside me. I smiled reading "PhySci building" ~ memories.... :) All of a sudden it is 1981 again :)
ReplyDeleteHello! I'm here. I hope this time my comment would get through. T, I'm envious. Back in college Bible verses were the farthest from my mind. Though I went to catholic schools, I lived like a pagan then. OTV, thank God you're back.
ReplyDeleteSo all the cleaning I'm doing, I found out, has many rewards. I'm not yet done, but I found "treasures" that I'm going to share with you both soon.
Till then...I love you both.
Success!
ReplyDeleteI love this post, friend. I'm going to bookmark it so I can go back to it whenever I want.
OTV,
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear from you! We will trust God for today and all our tomorrows.
Bogodoy,
If your "treasures" are in any way incriminating pakitapon na lang sa siga. Just kidding. It's okay, we have been redeemed. :) Nothing can touch us, not even if it's in our own handwriting when we were 17.
Honestly, I don't know how I got those verses back then. I think I was carried around a small Gideon bible (but it only came out during exam time). I remember reading it cover to cover one summer and I was so proud telling everyone I read the whole bible. (Yes in three months) Only problem is I only *thought* it was the whole bible. Turned out it was only the New Testament plus the Psalms and Proverbs. I think that's when Prov 3:5-6 came to me. Plus you know how hard those tests were, I needed divine intervention.
dear JoyT or TJoy (hahaha shortening the short)
ReplyDeleteI am glad to be back too - the verses started flowing smoothly again. And I know we know why!
I have beaten myself silly about what lies beyond next week when I get the biopsy results but really I ask, can any amount of worrying change anything? Only God has the power to do anything about it. Everywhere I go now to read or listen to sermons, I see writings about pain and suffering ~ and I know I am being spoken to about the whys of all this. Isn't it grand that in the midst of my worrying, I find the LORD talking to me, telling me why this is all so and not leaving me at a loss and guessing and hating that all this has happened. In the end, we go back to GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME. :)
Thank you my dear sisters, for coming here...for keeping me in your prayers...for being the constant reminder that there is hope in everything. God bless your hearts.
huggggssssss